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193. 142. Art doesnt transform. 181. Im full of funny ideas waiting to be expressed. -Gandhi. Say your affirmations slowly and clearly. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Sam Levenson. Finally, if you want a simple tool to record and recite these affirmations, then check out these 13 affirmations apps that help you create a positive mindset. 175. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. 159. I give over my anxiety to God, knowing His peace will protect my heart and mind. The best way for me to appreciate my job is to imagine myself without one. After all, laughter is a universal way to express yourself. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. "Being funny doesn't take much effort.". 6. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. I am happy and joyful. I tried, but they wanted cash. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. Sincerely, the floor. 225. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. 133. HAM AND EGGS A days work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.". The thing is, Im still getting ready. It takes so little to change your life! Whats the best thing about Switzerland? So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. Youll probably grin or laugh if you say these affirmations aloud, thinking youre crazy. 11. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. This is the beauty of funny affirmations. Declare your affirmations slowly and clearly. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Let these funny affirmation quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. I could agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. 200. A quote to live by for when life gets bitter. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. I stick to things until I get to my destination. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. 277. The only power you have is the word no. Im gonna be worse., 12. 167. Stop trying to make everyone happy. 117. I did not trip and fall. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? 87. And a funny bone. 51. Life gives the test first and then the lesson. Laughter also has a social aspect, as its the perfect way to bond with people. 34. Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. 274. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 132. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. You can only be young once. 29. I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks. 5. 150. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? 239. 226. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. 9. Make the statements about yourself and for yourself. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". I am not letting an episode of my life ruin the entire show. - Unknown. 124. 278. 1. In between, I am alive. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield., 10. I see the funny side of life more and more. 82. 71. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Using humor can help you bridge the gap and empower you to believe in affirmations and their outcome. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. I would have appreciated exams if they had allowed our Pokemons and Ninjas. Walking into a room and then forgetting why I am here is my daily cardio. 229. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. It has features that are distinctive and make me who I am. I honor that time. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. To thrive in life you need three bones. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #affirmations, #affirmation, #funnyaffirmation, #dailyaffirmations, #affirmationsoftheday, # . 206. Rodney Dangerfield. 166. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 2. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. Be careful when you follow the masses. 163. 148. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. Stuart Turner You were too lazy to read that number. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. A mind is like a parachute. A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. My mood swings keep life interesting. Choose a job you love and youll never have to work a day in your lifebecause that field isnt hiring. The world is missing some pizzazz. Benjamin Franklin. 59. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. 90. 182. Every day, read them aloud for the best results. But you can always be immature. Life doesnt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. Milton Berle If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Life is filled with highs and lows, sometimes, we need some inspirational quotes to help us overcome challenges of life and offer guidance to us. We have rounded up the best collection of funny affirmations, quotes, sayings, captions, positive thoughts (with images and pictures) to encourage friends and family to manifest their thoughts into things. 57. Robert A. Heinlein, 243. 265. 191. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. I dont care! Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and more to motivate them every morning. no rich foods. Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. Its a door, thats how they work. I draw from my inner strength and light. Yeah, so is a grenade. If you see affirmations that say " I will, " " I used to, " or " I'm going to, " then this is NOT an affirmation. Without further ado, let's look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. How do you count cows? If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. 56. 216. 218. grateful. 172. Walter Bagehot. He who laughs last didnt get it. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. 220. 46. Funny Wednesday Work Quotes. Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. Oh sheet! I am willing to ask for help when it serves my growth. 121. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. 226. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. 220. I am on a seafood diet. I am grateful for all that I have. The best things in life are free. I thought you said extra fries. 199. 58. You wanna know who Im in love with? Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 196. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. 193. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. 104. 258. Theres no stopping me now. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. You can't wait for inspiration. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. 166. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. 154. 'Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.'. I understand success cant happen overnight. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. In the morning, I cant get up. 22. Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. 201. Which affirmation put a smile on your face? When life closes a door, just open it again. 118. Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth., 9. God's promises are here to give you perfect peace, good news, renew your strength and reveal the will of God in your life. I dont worry about getting older. 185. Oh sheet!. Let me know in the comments section down below! Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. I can't make everyone happy, I'm not tequila. avoid carbs. They log in. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 113. Learn sign language, its very handy. It just plain forms. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 130. [click_to_tweet tweet="Things are getting better all the time" quote="Things are getting better all the time" theme="style4] Start as soon as you wake up in the morning. The most important thing to remember when using positive affirmations is that it is all about how you feel. But this shouldnt be a problem, as you can come up with your own humorous affirmations. You have to go after it with a club. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. 103. 195. All rights reserved. I intend to live forever. I deserve sugar, spice, and all things nice. Steve Martin I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me., 12. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks., 3. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". 192. Dear universe, I am totally open to all the amazing things coming my way. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well., 13. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low.